I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
