Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
