You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
