Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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