Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
