last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
