too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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