he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
