nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
