I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
