I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's never too late to be topless.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
