i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Randomize
