How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You smell like stripper and shame
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
