so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Randomize
