I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize