my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You need a sexual gate keeper
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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