I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
