This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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