i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
