so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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