just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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