You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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