Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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