That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
