my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Randomize
