I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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