fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
