rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
