Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Randomize
