i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
