You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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