the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
