oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
