I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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