just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
