That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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