He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
