I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
