Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
