Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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