i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize