nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
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