Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
should my penis look like a turkey
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
