i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i already hear my dad disowning me
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
