Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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