I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
