I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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