Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
