once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
