That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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