If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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