Moan for me like Helen Keller
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
