so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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