dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
