Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
This is the high leading the old right now
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
