Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
