I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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