Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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