Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
