But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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