Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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