I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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