i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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