Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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