You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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