she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
