Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
did i just pee glitter
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Randomize
