I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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