Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
