I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
