I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
That's when you crack a 10am beer
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Sext me about skeletons
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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