I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
