is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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