I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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