my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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