Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
