the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
