Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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